By: Glyndora Condon M.S., M.F.T., L.P.C.
Bullying often starts in the home environment in Domestic Violent homes, where controlling others with manipulation and coercive behaviors disregards the feelings and pain of others, and is seen as Normal. The children mimic and do this with others and find that others give in out of fear which enhances the sense of power and importance, and then are deluded with a false sense of respect which reinforces the bullying. Mothers of these children know why their child bullies, yet sometimes say little since these children may bully them as well; and also due to not wanting a father who may be the abuser to abuse her child or herself: Or who may encourage the child. Bullies are protected often with cover stories that enable them to continue bullying; as children lie for their parents and excuse their own bruises. Problems are thought to be a private issue that remains at home.
This has much documentation. It is not always the case however, and in some cases, a bully evolves by attempting such and then is reinforced while not suffering much consequences; and therefor the payoff exceeds the consequence. Sometimes they are from submissive parenting types where little boundaries are present or upheld. Sometimes they come from more of an authoritarian type of parenting. Regarding questions as to the schools, teachers, other children or adults who are watching this or learning of this yet do little.....our culture today may speak more to why. In fact the internet, the games, and social media is driving much negativity as our youth are desensitized to violence and rewarded for them. Society has become extremely intolerant to other who differ from them and reacts violently to those who disagree.
A parent who continues to call authorities in the forum of the abuse, and/or contact authorities elsewhere; and who will go up the ladder of command, and who stands firmly to hold the teachers, schools, or parents accountable- will be more likely to protect their own young. Shedding the light on those who do nothing, exposing them as well as; the abuser-with evidence of a video can be very helpful. Privacy of the problem continues the problem.
We can help parents and we can help children so please contact us today.
By Glyndora Condon M.S. M.F.T. L.P.C.
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